a year ago today

one year ago i graduated from college.
i've survived my first year of post-undergraduate.

at times, it really did feel like survival, but those are the times. it's not that the past year went so fast or slow. yes, time did strange things like light speed through thrilling weeks with someone new only to expand infinitely through months of unemployment.

the startling part about the last year, however, wasn't the time but the events themselves. it is their striking contrast that makes the time since graduation inexplicable and difficult to capture.

like most opposites, the beginning and the end often act the same. i ended my time at miami by spending the last missing out on several hours of sleep getting to know someone amazing. i packed up four years and moved them home by myself on a two-day drive home.

i unpacked.

i packed for a six-week trip through europe with my best friend from college. we drove a rented stick-shift through crete at 6am, slept with a homeless woman in florence, bicycled through amsterdam. we did a stereotypical post-college tour of europe. while we had done something many others our age had done, and will do, we did it just a little differently because it was us doing it.

i flew to columbus to see friends.
i flew to chicago to find an apartment.
i flew to kansas city to unpack.

i packed for what, in many ways, would be the last family vacation of its kind. the three of us embarked on a two-week road trip of the west. i was fascinated by that which i had never seen before. it wasn't europe but it amazed me just as much. we spent time together as a family. we laughed. we drove each other a little nuts. we watched the landscape change and counted animals. we appreciated each other. we returned home in time for me to pack.

i moved to chicago.
i started a new job.
i met new friends.
i ran into a guy.
i worked trade shows.
i quit the job.
i searched for new employment.
i explored the city.
i volunteered as a tutor.
i went to concerts.
i offered parts of myself.
i ate brunch.
i felt optimistic.
i interviewed.
i felt rejected.
i felt defeated.
i cried.
i ached.
i received a phone call.
i worried.
i stressed.
i gave up.
i received another phone call.
i celebrated.
i worked.
i grew.
i decided.
i reflected.

i don't think i can articulate the next part without sounding like the moral of the story.
a lot has happened in the past year, but pain of some events don't diminish the joy of others. i've experienced both emotions vividly and frequently since leaving miami and while that has made it an almost incongruous, disjointed year it has been complete. i could not ask for more.