shameless self-promotion is ok when there's no audience

for reasons nostalgic, vain, and sentimental, i wrote to a professor at the good old alma mater and asked if he might possibly dig through stacks of submitted goldman applications, find mine, and return it to its author. he agreed and in a marvel of not-so-modern technology it arrived in my postbox this day.

what's a goldman application you ask? well it's an application to apply for the joanna jackson goldman memorial prize, and this probably describes it best. last year, my 12 credit-hour schedule allowed me enough free time to find the above link and feel guilty enough about my slacker semester to decide to dream and write up a proposal. the process falls into the category "if i had known how much work this was going to be before, i would have never started it". but then again, that solved my developing under-achiever complex. be careful what you wish for, i suppose.

anyway, long story short, i applied, made it to the final round, sat through the scariest interview of my life to date, (i use the word "sat" intentionally. i fielded questions from 10 professors and 2 students for 45 minutes, which felt like eternity during the inquisition and like 4.5 nanoseconds upon its completion. when i exited the interview so did all my memories of the event. it was out of body. i like to stay in my body. it's comfortable there.), and (now back from the aside [and example of why i'm a proponent of the oxford comma]) i didn't get the prize. but the heroine of this story did learn many life lessons, explore herself, and form new relationships.

all this back story for what? simply to lead to more inane writing.
after opening up the package that contained my application, i skimmed through the little baby, and remembered about this gem.

going back to something you wrote months or years ago has the potential to frighten. does the fact that i didn't groan or roll my eyes when reading these posts mean i've developed as a writer? probably, it means i haven't developed at all as a person.


(who did win the prize you might be wondering? this girl. saving a language. big deal.)