blood donation: pretty badass until band-aid removal

yesterday i got stabbed in an RV on the side of the road.

actually, i gave blood in a mobile donation van parked curbside on roscoe. not as exciting as the first, but maybe a bit more sanitary.

i like giving blood. it makes me feel justified in refusing to give money to people that hang around outside the chicago red line stop each morning. no, i will not give you $.50 and you can call me a bitch for it, but if you were to get stabbed in an RV on the side of the road, my blood might be there for you. how's that for an altruistic look at life?

the most painful part of blood donation is the finger prick, which they administer to check iron levels. after a second test, i was allowed to donate because my iron came in just above the 12.6 requirement at 12.9. i'm guessing this is the main reason as to why i came close to passing out in my chair. the woman comes up to me and says,

you're almost done, how do you feel?
good.
--30 seconds later--
do you have any water? i'm really hot.
do you think you're going to throw up?
maybe.

then i closed my eyes or they closed for me, and tried to keep my breakfast inside while ignoring the sweat rolling down my back. at this point one woman is pulling the needle out of my arm while another nurse is putting two ice packs on my neck and chest. i drink some water and pull back from the edge of the black twinkly world of which i'd glimpsed. ten minutes later i was eating some animal cookies and walking back home. i napped hard core for a good two hours.

a friend called asking me to go out, and since it'd been the prescribed 4-6 hours with my band-aid on, i decided to remove it. come to find out, the nurse had put not only a band-aid on but also a folded sheet of gauze secured by about 7" of surgical tape that nearly wrapped all the way around my arm. i attempted to tear it off but couldn't do it myself. i went to my roommate who boldly took on the task.

woah, are you okay? you're not going to pass out on me, are you?
no, i'm fine. let's do this. just make it quick.
--insert sound of surgical adhesive ripped away from stretch skin--
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. god! that hurt.
are you ready for the next one?
yes, go. fast.
--insert sound of fine, delicate arm hair torn from soft skin--
ahhhhhhhhhh.

i was left with an attractive stripe of red, swollen, hairless skin where said bandage had been. it's surprising my vein didn't collapse at that point. then i took of the band-aid only to realize all the torment had caused the hole to start bleeding again, thus requiring a new band-aid.
now here i sit attempting to rip it off. my roommate is gone, so i'm going to have to suck it up.
or wait until she comes home. oh the cyclical nature of life.