poema sujo

i have never gone to a city and hated it. some cities, like green bay, wisconsin, i have arrived in and not minded when it came time to depart, but i've never travel led to a city and really hated it. it's a bit surprising then that there are cities i love. it seems the cities on this list are there not only because of their aesthetic and culture but also because of the memories and experiences i have connected to them.

paris is one of these cities. i don't "love paris" in the same way that people who have visited the city for three days come back and tell their coworkers, oh my god, i just looooved paris. i love it in the way you love your first blanket--the one that has that peculiar smell to everyone else but you. to you it's one of the best smells, the strongest smells, even if you have no idea how to describe the scent. maybe the best way is as home. home not because i took my first steps there or have family there but home because i grew so much while there and parts are so familiar, comfortable, and welcoming. i will never forget the smell of the florist that hit me every monday - thursday right after exiting gaîté, right before turning left on rue daguerre; the white tiles from the park next to the monoprix where i walked djinn every third night; the bearded, crouched man who sat on the right side of the steps at duroc; the way it felt to unhinge the window and look out over the city and feel the breeze...

chicago is another one of these cities, but for completely different reasons. if paris is beautiful for it's overall appearance, the way it seems to have been crafted like one giant, intricate page in a pop-up book, chicago is exactly the opposite to me. it's beauty does not lie in it's whole but in it's parts. there are summer nights when the evening light makes everything appear like a stage movie scene. i want to walk through every door and see into the house with the ornate stained-glass windows, the apartment with the peeling window paint, the basement of the formidable church. compared to other big cities chicago feels small. that's the exact thing that makes it manageable to me, though, and from that desire to explore all its navigable parts, makes it huge once again.


la ville est dans l'homme
presque comme l'arbre
vole dans l'oiseau qui le quitte