suck it, hallmark.

i've never been a fan of valentine's day. admittedly, a big part of that is because i've never had a valentine or a significant other to share it with. despite this, i usually spend it with friends eating chocolate and watching sappy movies. this is fun, but something you can do without the excuse of a holiday, so really i've never been a fan of valentine's day. not to mention the hallmark factor.

up until this year, my favorite valentine's day was spent with my old college roommate. that afternoon we both donated blood. i proceeded to pass out almost immediately after sitting down at the cookie table. she had to run to work, and while she felt okay at the beginning, she ended up throwing up at work and coming home early. we both took long naps, and then went to a girlfriend's house that night. there, we each drank our own bottle of boone's, ate chocolate fondue, and watched 13 going on 30. simply magical.

last night, however, i spent an entire afternoon making the best valentine's of my life with a good friend. i ate a box of whoppers and drank a cup of coffee, which i always find is the best way to get the creative juices flowing. i made a dozen awesome cards that will be finding their way to friends all over the country. these cards are not only made with much love and care but also include some fantastic puns, cut-out hearts, and even glitter. it doesn't get better than that. wait. it does. order a pizza, drink a few beers, and listen to broken social scene. now that's a perfect valentine's day. who the hell cares if it was on february 11th?

tutoring and teeth

within five minutes of sitting down with my student, a first-grade girl, to read a book, the following conversation ensues:

"alright kimberly, what book do you want to read today?"
"let me see your teeth?"
"what?"
"show me your teeth. go... ike deeeez."
"okay. cheeeeeese."
"you have dirty teeth. you don't brush your teeth."
"what? yes i do!"
"let me see again."
"cheeeese."
"no you don't. you have brown spots. you don't brush you teeth."
"yes i do, kimberly! i brush twice a day!"
"then why are you teeth dirty if you brush your teeth?"
"look little girl. i don't know why, but i have excellent oral hygiene, okay! i brush twice a day, and i floss. maybe once you grow up and get braces when you're in college and then start drinking coffee and tea, you'll realize how hard it is to keep you teeth completely white! now... let's get back to picking a book."
"okay. . . but you're teeth are still dirty."

826CHI

for a few weeks now, i've been volunteering at a writing center. my initial impetus for starting was less altruistic and more get me the hell out of my apartment. i came across the center via dave egger's bio on the america's non-required reading 2008. seemed just random enough to work. like with all things recently, i kept my expectations just above existent and it turned out as a perfect fit.

after a short group interview, involving an enormous coincidence featuring a friend of a friend of a friend and a pair of skeleton gloves, i was told i could start volunteering when i wished. with a fairly free schedule and experience in tutoring, i decided to go in for the after school program. kids 6 - 18 are welcome for homework help and encouraged to write, draw, create...

my first day was a thursday, when 40 sugar-high elementary and middle schoolers paraded into the room scattered with 6 volunteers. it was a bit intense, and i felt like volunteering was going to be a little less enjoyable than anticipated. my next time, however, the kids were fewer and calmer, and i was also more at ease with the situation. now, after my third time, i'm loving it. the kids are wonderful and while a little rambunctious have a great sense of humor. unlike some kids, they seem to have this real hunger for learning. after suggesting to one boy that we draw i was shocked when he not only took me up on the offer, but didn't run away screaming when i took the encyclopedia off the shelf. rather than playing a board game we looked up wacky animals, drew outlines for each other, and then colored them in. there's also been a fair amount of playing the board game trouble and some chompy making.

more than anything, it's nice to get a different perspective on the chicago community and learn about other people's-- even small people's-- lifestyles.
another big plus, they have a spy store that funds the writing center behind. in said store, they sell fake mustaches! i can't wait to get one. i think i'll go for a hercule peroit look.

the organic and just scam

after much contemplation, personal experience, and discussion, i've reached the conclusion that whole foods and american apparel are in cahoots. yes, shocking, i know. how could i accuse such organic and just stores of scamming the innocent shopper? both with the perfect cover-- one providing fresh, organic and the nothing but the healthiest food. the other, providing sweat-free, fairly paid clothing-- i'm sure they're scamming someone somewhere. haven't worked out all the details, but i have worked out this much:

first the matter of expense. last time i checked 4.50 for a half gallon of milk is a little pricey, as is 25 for a cotton tshirt with no sewn neckline disguised as "dress" due to it's long, shapeless nature. even if it is their mission to compensate fairly for their products, i'm sure they must be skimming a few bucks off the top along the way.

second, there is a matter of hip. american apparel. oh the love-hate relationship we've developed. how a tshirt could ever be so hip is beyond me. but really. don't you think some of those colors should be returned to the 80s? and, of course, the obvious hypocrisy of having socially just clothing that you in turn display on half-naked (that's generous) womens' bodies. i have yet to see a man's right buttock peeping out from a magazine's page, and yet how much female goddamn female butt do i have to stare at every time i walk down milwaukee?! and if anyone tries to argue that "at least their models have an eclectic, diverse look that clearly represents every woman" so help me god from strangling you with one of those skinny scarves. [note: one more use for those scarves-- noose.] representing women would be making clothes that allow for breasts and hips to fit into them.
and as hip dresses, hip must eat. have you ever stood outside a whole foods on say a saturday afternoon? check out the long line of fixed gears chained to the racks. this isn't your grandmother's grocery store. if you're not perusing the aisles in skinny jeans with the pant leg rolled up, hauling your own shoppings bags (because they ask paper or plastic, but they don't like it. and regardless of your choice-- it is wrong.) then you might as well get in your gaz guzzling SUV, pull into dominick's, and buy twice the groceries with the same amount of cash you probably earned while selling the bloody tears of mongolian children. unless...
unless you're a snotty-nosed mother hauling 3 snot-nosed kids along behind you, and in your infinite wisdom trying to fill trays for each child from the salad bar at noon on sunday. then, it is perfectly acceptable to wear that down north face coat and those ugg boots and push others aside like knock-off coach purses. [my personal theory is that the hipsters are afraid of these sorority sisters grown old, and the two groups have silently agree that if no eye contact is made and no words exchanged, then both might coexist at this organic watering hole.]

be all that as it may, i will most likely continue to frequent both places. american apparel has the most amazing wealth of color i've ever set eyes upon. before entering, my eyes widen in anticipation of the immediate electric shock of dye and hue on which they're about to OD. and while at all other stores i'll wear a small or medium, i will continue to reach for the large or x-large dresses, tights, and shirts because i know they'll last.
similarly, i'll continue spending a meager 8 or 15 at whole foods for delicious, fresh oranges and organic fig bars. (i know, i know. i cringe even typing it. there really is a huge difference, though. with the fig bars that is. with the rest of that organic crap, i'm not so sure.)

which brings us to the third point, as well as full circle. the reason no one questions either company is because they're right. (the companies not the non-questioners.) whole foods and american apparel make good quality products for a reasonably fair price that stand up to time and taste. but do they really have to be such goddamnfucking snobs about it!?
and i refuse to drop suspicion that there isn't some sort of shenanigans going on between them!

LTLYM #53

hello, tiny one.

right now you're gregarious, eager, and extroverted. you maybe talk too much for your own good, but that is okay. you tell stories without cease, but they're funny so people don't mind. you're aggressive and competitive, sometimes even a poor loser. you're precocious and talented and mature way beyond your years. you might have good style, but right now it's completely off your radar as are boys and being cool.

in a few years, this is all going to change but you shouldn't let it. you'll always know you're smart, competent, independent, mature, funny, loving, and compassionate, but for many years you'll start valuing other's opinion more highly than your own when it comes to judging yourself. it will cause a whole mess of confusion and self-questioning, not to mention several hellish months when you allow a guy to take advantage of your vulnerability and insecurities. maybe it's better to tell all those people to fuck off-- not really heavily consider their opinion on you. of course, it's always good to listen to what people have to say, but if you don't agree then disregard it. in the end, you be able to change what they really think of you anyway.


you are the future.

snow barf

this is the 4th snowiest winter out of the past 25 in chicago. that means it has snowed more in these past few months than i have ever seen in my life. and indeed, it is supposed to snow yet again tonight, producing about 8" of snow by tomorrow evening.

sometimes, the snow is good. for instance, you get snowed in and get to spend the night. next day, still snowed in. snow day! brunch! nice.

sometimes, the snow is bad. for instance, you get snowed in and can't drive to evanston for a lunch that might help you get a job.

sometimes, the snow is neutral. it just kind of hangs out and gets on your shoes, but no one really takes offense.

also, sometimes the snow inspires really bad blogs that read like barf. let's hope that never happens again.

thank you, mr. sufjan

for once again reminding me to appreciate the poetry of everyday life.