everyone does the best they can

once, i was a little girl, and i didn't ask questions. i talked to strangers about their dogs and favorite colors. in the middle of the day i would announce an evening concert and perform a tap dance wearing a polka-dotted leotard and pink plastic pearls. i yelled when i was angry, and i cried when my animal balloon popped. i didn't hesitate.

then, i was very old and reminiscing one early morning, huddled into the paisley comforter, unable to sleep because of aches. i contrasted this little girl to the decades that ensued and wondered where all that uninhibited zest went. moreover, i wondered why i wasted all those years--all those years that went by like tics on the second hand--worrying rather than doing.