universe, you've done it again

this week was the final straw. i felt that i'd received enough "wrongs" to enter the pathetic, self-pitying stage. it is monday night, and i make a self-righteous decree that 2008 cannot possibly get any worse between heaving sobs and snotty gurgles.

now it's four days, a kleenex box, several beers, and a lot of niece/nephew hugs later. although recent events have hurt and sucked what little hope i thought i had left, what is best/worst is that i see their benefit. i mean really. who the hell did i think i was expecting i could seamlessly manage all the unexpected and terrifying thrills of graduating, moving, living, meeting, quitting, searching, applying, rejecting, committing, and accepting?

it's been months of many realizations (beyond figuring out i can rationalize my way out of a shoebox). most importantly, however, i see how blessed i am to have the friends and family that i do. it might be cliché, but it's the truth.
my poor roommate, who never knows what to expect when she walks through the door. some days i'm working busily away on my computer, donning a stylin' robe, and other days i'm who knows where. then there are the days when despite my best efforts to completely cover my sneeze, i still end up snotting on her. after spending several minutes disinfecting herself, she not only emerges from the bathroom smiling but doesn't even move to another table.
good old dad who has no idea what he's about to hear when he prompts me to, "come on, just tell me what's wrong." then endures a stream of nonsense and estrogen that he's probably still mopping off the kitchen floor in kansas.
plus all the other friends in and out of state who commiserate, ponder, and reply.

this might not be what i expected, but another thing i've realized is my expectations usually work against me. so i'm thankful for this-- whatever it is and whatever it might become-- and i do the best i can.